Best moments in our lives are not experienced during our relaxing times
Flow means being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost.
Contrary to expectation, "flow" usually happens not during relaxing moments of leisure and entertainment, but rather when we are actively involved in a difficult enterprise, in a task that stretches our mental and physical abilities. Any activity can do it. Working on a challenging job, riding the crest of a tremendous wave, and teaching one's child the letters of the alphabet are the kinds of experiences that focus our whole being in a harmonious rush of energy, and lift us out of the anxieties and boredom that characterize so much of everyday life.
The well-matched use of skills provides a sense of control over our actions, yet because we are too busy to think of ourselves, it does not matter whether we are in control or not, whether we are winning or losing. Often we feel a sense of transcendence, as if the boundaries of the self had been expanded. The sailor feels at one with the wind, the boat, and the sea; the singer feels a mysterious sense of universal harmony. In those moments the awareness of time disappears, and hours seem to flash by without our noticing."
But to change all existence into a flow experience, it is not sufficient to learn merely how to control moment-by-moment states of consciousness. It is also necessary to have an overall context of goals for the events of everyday life to make sense. If a person moves from one flow activity to another without a connecting order, it will be difficult at the end of one's life to look back on the years past and find meaning in what has happened. To create harmony in whatever one does is the last task that the flow theory presents to those who wish to attain optimal experience; it is a task that involves transforming the entirety of life into a single flow activity, with unified goals that provide constant purpose
Humans operate on the Principle of Least Effort: given several paths, we will pick the easiest. This one single primarily principle of any human actions, animal, or even an intelligent machine, whether it is in verbal communication or in searching for something, is the expenditure of the least amount of effort to accomplish a task.
In an event such as the Soccer World Cup, the phenomenon of increased identification with the team and greater national pride has been referred to as the “feel-good effect at mega sports events“. Such events facilitate social connections and have an influence on our emotions: they are sources of joy and frustration, anger and pride, depression and enthusiasm; and ultimately affect what psychologist call the “subjective well-being” – which is, as a key concept in positive psychology, our own appreciation of one’s life in global terms.
Listen for the message in the following examples : “You learned so quickly! You’re so smart!” “Look at that drawing ...
When people have no choice, life is almost unbearable. As the number of available choices increases, as it has in our consumer culture, the autonomy, control, and liberation this variety brings are powerful and positive. But as the number of choices keeps growing, negative aspects of having a multitude of options begin to appear. As the number of choices grows further, the negatives escalate until we become overloaded. At this point, choice no longer liberates, but debilitates. It might even be said to tyrannize.