Criticism engenders resentment
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
B. F Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns for more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
[Oprah Winfrey said in one of the interview she was giving :]
"There’s a wonderful phrase by Maya Angelou, from a poem that she wrote called “To our grandmothers”, that she says:
“I come as one, but I stand as ten thousand.”
So when I walk into a room, particularly before I have something really challenging to do, or I’m going to be in a circumstance where I feel I’m going to be you know, up against some difficulties. I will literally sit, and I will call on the 10,000."
Note : the actual phrase in the poem is : "I go forth along, and stand as ten thousand."
You don’t know what went on in the rest of my life. At home. Even at school. You don’t know ...
A study at the University of Utah found that if you ask someone why he is friendly with someone else, he’ll say it is because he and his friend share similar attitudes. But if you actually quiz the two of them on their attitudes, you’ll find out that what they actually share is similar activities. We’re friends with the people we do things with, as much as we are with the people we resemble. We don’t seek out friends, in other words. We associate with the people who occupy the same small, physical spaces that we do.
Harvard neuroscientists Jason Mitchell and Diana Tamir found that disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding. In one study, Mitchell and Tamir hooked subjects up to brain scanners and asked them to share either their own opinions and attitudes (“I like snowboarding”) or the opinions and attitudes of another person (“He likes puppies”). They found that sharing personal opinions activated the same brain circuits that respond to rewards like food and money. So talking about what you did this weekend might feel just as good as taking a delicious bite of double chocolate cake.
According to Edward T. Hall, the environment becomes a dimension of culture, it incorporates manifestations related to the concept of body, space and sensation. The researcher defines this concept by the notion of proxemics, a scientific discipline studying the signifying organization of space and the study of the relative positions of interlocutors. The space of each individual is composed of four spheres revolving around the individual:
1 ° The intimate sphere is 45 cm in diameter around the individual: it implies physical involvement;
2 ° The personal sphere is measured between 45 cm and 1m35 around the individual: this distance is to be found during a particular conversation;
3 ° The social sphere is measured between 1.20m and 3.70m around the individual: it is the distance observed during friendly and professional interactions;
4 ° The public sphere is measured at a distance equal to or greater than 3,70m around the individual: it is the sphere dedicated to exchanges with a group.
The closest surface to the individual is an emotionally strong area that is usually referred to as the individual security perimeter. The size of this space varies according to the cultures. The social status of the interlocutor is also to be considered: one is closer to a peer than a superior or a subordinate. There is therefore a link between spatial distance and social distance.