Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
B. F Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns for more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
Your example
We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we do them.
Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
[Oprah Winfrey said in one of the interview she was giving :]
"There’s a wonderful phrase by Maya Angelou, from a poem that she wrote called “To our grandmothers”, that she says:
“I come as one, but I stand as ten thousand.”
So when I walk into a room, particularly before I have something really challenging to do, or I’m going to be in a circumstance where I feel I’m going to be you know, up against some difficulties. I will literally sit, and I will call on the 10,000."
Note : the actual phrase in the poem is : "I go forth along, and stand as ten thousand."
According to Duke University researchers, we're not only attracted to people who smile but we also tend to remember their names. In a 2008 fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) study, Professors Takashi Tsuldura and Roberto Cabeza showed subjects pictures of smiling and unsmiling individuals, followed by their names, e.g. "Nancy," "Amber," "Kitty," and so on. The results found that the subjects' orbitofrontal cortices—the region of the brain associated with reward processing—were more active when the subjects were learning and recalling the names of smiling individuals. "We are sensitive to positive social signals," Cabeza explained. "We want to remember people who were kind to us, in case we interact with them in the future."
I VIEW with pleasure and approval the way you keep on at your studies and sacrifice everything to your single-minded ...
