Do not attempt to stop pain
Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable.
Humans operate on the Principle of Least Effort: given several paths, we will pick the easiest. This one single primarily principle of any human actions, animal, or even an intelligent machine, whether it is in verbal communication or in searching for something, is the expenditure of the least amount of effort to accomplish a task.
In an event such as the Soccer World Cup, the phenomenon of increased identification with the team and greater national pride has been referred to as the “feel-good effect at mega sports events“. Such events facilitate social connections and have an influence on our emotions: they are sources of joy and frustration, anger and pride, depression and enthusiasm; and ultimately affect what psychologist call the “subjective well-being” – which is, as a key concept in positive psychology, our own appreciation of one’s life in global terms.
Listen for the message in the following examples : “You learned so quickly! You’re so smart!” “Look at that drawing ...