For some, being around other people is excessively exhausting
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
The fundamental attribution error is our tendency to explain someone's behavior based on internal factors, such as personality or disposition - hence emphasize the person’s internal characteristics – over the external factors.
People have a cognitive bias to assume that a person's actions depend on what “kind” of they are rather than on the social and environmental forces. We see others as responsible for their behavior when bad things happen to them. We blame them for their personality instead of weighting situational influences which lead them to be in such unpleasant position.
In fact, what we really do is harshly judging them with no rationalization.
[This is not the original wording from the author]
Lots of liberal white folks are looking for black friends. It’s almost as hard as finding an egg donor who is a tall blond eighteen-year-old at Harvard
It is not death that the very old tell me they fear. It is what happens short of death —losing their hearing, their memory, their best friends, their way of life. As Felix put it to me, “Old age is a continuous series of losses.” Philip Roth put it more bitterly in his novel Everyman: “Old age is not a battle. Old age is a massacre.” With luck and fastidiousness—eating well, exercising, keeping our blood pressure under control, getting medical help when we need it—people can often live and manage a very long time. But eventually the losses accumulate to the point where life’s daily requirements become more than we can physically or mentally manage on our own. As fewer of us are struck dead out of the blue, most of us will spend significant periods of our lives too reduced and debilitated to live independently. We do not like to think about this eventuality. As a result, most of us are unprepared for it.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.