Our feelings aren’t here to break us but heal us
[...] We’re afraid that if we get sad, angry, or afraid, those feelings will overwhelm us, and we’ll shatter.
But that’s not how feelings work. Our feelings aren’t here to break us. They’re here to help us—even heal us. Our feelings can be powerful, especially when we repress them for years or decades. But when we let our feelings happen in response to events in our lives, they don’t crash over us like a tsunami. No, they wash over us like the kind of warm, gentle waves [...]
Feelings are meant to have a wave action. They naturally progress, crest, and recede. But if we’ve been conditioned to avoid a particular emotion, we’ll jump to an inhibiting affect or defensive affect before the cycle can do its work.
Yet, certainly, the wise learn many things from their enemies; for caution preserves all things. From a friend you could not learn this, but your foe immediately obliges you to learn it. For example, the states have learned from enemies, and not from friends, to build lofty walls, and to possess ships of war. And this lesson preserves children, house, and possessions.
The present theory then must be considered to be a suggested program or framework for future research and must stand ...
It’s saying no.
That’s your first hint that something’s alive. It says no. That’s how you know a baby is starting to turn into a person. They run around saying no all day, throwing their aliveness at everything to see what it’ll stick to. You can’t say no if you don’t have desires and opinions and wants of your own. You wouldn’t even want to.
No is the heart of thinking.