The two necessary dimensions for achieving: motivation and volition
[About Angela Duckworth - American academic, psychologist - experiment]
Duckworth finds it useful to divide the mechanics of achievement into two separate dimensions: motivation and volition. Each one, she says, is necessary to achieve long-term goals, but neither is sufficient alone. Most of us are familiar with the experience of possessing motivation but lacking volition: You can be extremely motivated to lose weight, for example, but unless you have the volition— the willpower, the self-control— to put down the cherry Danish and pick up the free weights, you’re not going to succeed.
If a child is highly motivated, the self-control techniques and exercises Duckworth tried to teach those fifth-grade students might be very helpful. But what if students just aren’t motivated to achieve the goals their teachers or parents want them to achieve?
Giving too many fucks is bad for your mental health. It causes you to become overly attached to the superficial and fake, to dedicate your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and satisfaction. The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
When we get angry, we suffer.
If you really understand that, you also will be able to understand that when the other person is angry, it means that she is suffering.
When someone insults you or behaves violently towards you, you have to be intelligent enough to see that the person suffers from his own violence and anger.
But we tend to forget. We think that we are the only one that suffers, and the other person is our oppressor. This is enough to make anger arise, and to strengthen our desire to punish. We want to punish the other ...
There is nothing more attractive and convincing than spontaneity whether it is to be found in a child, in an ...
Psychologists have found a surprisingly small relationship between money and happiness. One answer is that people aren’t spending it right, but money itself might only be part of the problem.
Jennifer L. Aaker in her 2011 paper “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy, Consider Time” argues, that time plays a critical role in understanding happiness, and it complements the money-spending happiness principles by offering five time-spending happiness principles:
1) spend time with the right people: it is not only whether you spend your time with others that influences your happiness, but also who you spend your time with Interaction partners associated with the greatest happiness levels include friends, family, and significant others, whereas bosses and coworkers tend to be associated with the least happiness
2) spend time on the right activities: to what degree is the content of that experience “evergreen” – perennially fresh and enduring?
3) enjoy the experience without spending the time: the part of the brain responsible for feeling pleasure, the mesolimbic dopamine system, can be activated when merely thinking : the brain sometimes enjoys anticipating a reward more than receiving the reward.
4) expand your time: focus on “the here and now” : Why? One possible benefit of being present-focused is that thinking about the present moment (vs. the future) slows down the perceived passage of time, allowing people to feel less rushed and hurried
5) be aware that happiness changes over time: for instance, younger people are more likely to associate happiness with excitement, whereas older individuals are more likely to experience happiness as feeling peaceful.
Souce : Jennifer Aaker, Melanie Rudd, Cassie Mogilner If Money Doesn't Make You Happy, Consider Time, Journal of Consumer Psychology, 2011